Recently, I was in a bar celebrating the birthday of a friend. The bar was full of all sorts of people from all sorts of countries.
An Indian-looking couple walk in. They are young, in their early twenties. They are known to the birthday boy, it seems.
I acknowledge them, no more affectionately than I do everyone else.
- Uncleji, the guy says.
- who do you mean?, I ask.
- You, he says. She laughs.
- Nice, I say. And walk off.
A bit later, they are in no mood to let go.
- Where are you from? Aren't you Indian?
-Yes
- You don't seem to want to talk to us.
- Well, you are not my sister's son. So last time I checked, I am not your uncle. You were rude to call me that.
- In India everyone calls everyone uncle.
- We are not in India, are we? And no, no one calls me uncle in India. besides are you from India?
- he is really from Sri Lanka, the girl pipes in. She does not have an Indian accent - Where are you from? What are you? A Punjabi? A Bengali?
- Indian
- But where in India are you from?
- (I am from South India- But you don't look like a South Indian. Are you sure you are from South India? -No, I am from South Pole. - Why are you upset, this is what Indians do, when they meet each other, I have never had anyone upset at me for this. - May be I am not that sort of an Indian... - Why do you say that?)
- Sheesh, let it go. Where are you from?
- Delhi. But I have never lived there.
- Well then you are not from Delhi. You look like an Indian, but you are not. It takes a little more than watching ten Bollywood movies and eating some Indian food to be Indian. Sorry.
And I walk away.
My only regret. I was actually calm and not more condescending and icy. By the way, I deleted a bunch of other inconsequential barbs from them that is irrelevant. It was as if they saw some Indian stereotype sitcom and wanted to slot me in. The more I wouldn't play the game, the more they got frustrated.
I can't stand these second and third generation Indian-wannabe idiots. Get a life already.
