(Written on a plane to far east. I had nothing better to do.)
Everyone has an uncle Tony that they are not proud of, especially if you live in the East coast. You know him, he lives somewhere in Jersey, wears too much gold and laughs and talks a little too loud. His friends are unsavory types and some of them “go away” for no reason. Most of them have done time or will do so. They have this “either you are with us or you are against us” attitude.
You hate inviting uncle Tony to your parties. He says stupid things and burps loudly. Moreover, in polite company, his jokes are crude and racist. Nobody is supposed to talk about what he does for a living and in his world, things fall off trucks on the Turnpike all the time. He is quite an embarrassment to the family.
On the other hand, you are secretly glad he is around because he is your muscle. He “takes care” of things for you, after all Tony loves his family. Just a phone call and the pesky town inspector learns to look the other way about your illegal fence or the town hall expedites your permit. The neighbor who crossed paths with you one too many times meets with an unfortunate accident involving a baseball bat and a broken knee. All said, you know deep in your heart that you are better off with him around because he looks out for you, You just have to pretend he is just an annoyance and keep you away from your cultured friends and social gatherings. There are plenty of family barbecues in South Jersey where you will run into him anyway.
And secretly, you are glad he says those racist and sexist things you wish you bad the guts to say. He is the spokesperson for your naughty inner child.
So why all this rumination about uncle Tony?
Because I think America I Europe’s uncle Tony. Like uncle Tony, Uncle Sam keeps company with many unsavory figures in the third world who oppress their people and meet most of the characteristics of Tony’s friends. People who disagree with Uncle Sam also meet with unfortunate accidents (or get killed in carpet bombing).
I could go on. But you catch my drift. I knew you will, after all you are very smart (Yes, I am talking to you. Hey where are you going? Come back…)
But what irritates me is the self-righteous pompous attitude of Europe. As if, deep in their heart, they are not thankful for all the horrors of uncle Sam. Remember, these same critters who protest America so much are also member of NATO. They are so opposed to nuclear ambitions of other countries (and say non-nuclear) because America has pledged through NATO to defend them.
In other words, they are glad America is generally doing the dirty work for them. Getting them cheap oil, keeping the poor countries in line, keeping third world countries from UN security council permanent seats, discriminating against blanket populations in the name of “war on terror” and saying all those awful things that they wish I had the guts to say.
Further more, they consume American movies voraciously, listen to American music and when they get a chance sit up all night and play quarter slot machines in Vegas. McDonald's is doing brisk business in France and rest of Europe (everywhere except UK) but they have the American fast food culture.
It would be interesting to see how Europe keeps their act up without NATO and the US doing their dirty work for them. Bloody hypocrites.
